Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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I was in Tesco's and I saw this man and woman wrapped in a barcode.

I said, "Are you two an item?"

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Which is the most religious cheese?

Emmental...it's very hol(e)y...
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What kind of mouse does not eat, drink, or even walk?

A computer mouse.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Why are Muslims worried about Trumps immigration plans?

Once you deport Juan you deport Jamal.
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The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper.

She was wearing massive gloves.
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A Freudian slip is when you mean to say one thing

but you accidentally say Mother.
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How many skunks does it take to make a big stink?

A phew.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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