Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is happy when the case is closed

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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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I've got a friend who's fallen in love with two school bags,

he's bisatchel.

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What has a lot of keys but can not open any doors?

A piano.
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What bone will a dog never eat?

A trombone.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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