Why was the ant so confused?

Because all his uncles were "ants"!
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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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What happened when 500 hares got loose on Main Street?

The police had to comb the area.
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What clothes does a house wear?

Address.
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A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they moved off.

"because," he said "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer."
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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What do you call a fat pumpkin?

A plumpkin.
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And how come her cell phone bill was so high?

She was a Roman (roamin) Catholic
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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