Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Why did a boy thow a clock out the window?

To see time fly.
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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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What kind of phones do people in jail use?

Cell phones
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Can you say Richard and Robert had a rabbit without using the "r" sound?

Sure, Dick and Bob had a bunny!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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