Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Which day do fish hate?

Fryday
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What kind of band can't play music?

A rubber band.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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How do hair stylists speed up their job?

They take short cuts!
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What do you call a king who is only 12 inches tall?

A ruler.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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