Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What did one wall say to the other?

I'll meet you at the corner.
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What does one bucket say to the other?

I am feeling pale today.
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What bird can lift the most?

A crane.
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My phone will ring at 2 in the morning, and my wife'll look at me and go, "Who's that calling at this time?' "I don't know!

If I knew that we wouldn't need the bloody phone!"

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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What element is derived from a Norse god?

Thorium.
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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Why does everybody like Frosty the Snowman?

Because he is so cool!
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