Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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What is black ,white and red all over?

A sunburnt penguin
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How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.
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What did the snail say when he got on the turtle's shell?

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
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What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?

Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
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What country makes you shiver?

Chile.
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Why did the pianist keep banging his head against the keys?

He was playing by ear

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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Know how copper wire was invented?

Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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