Why was the baseball player arrested in the middle of the game?

He was caught stealing second base.
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How do you catch a squirrel?

Climb up a tree and act like a nut
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What did the peanut say to the elephant?

Nothing, peanuts don't talk.
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Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in mud, then cross the road again?

He was a dirty double crosser!
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Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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What two things can you not have for breakfast?

Lunch and dinner.
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What kind of dessert does a ghost like?

I scream!
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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How is a dog like a telephone?

It has a collar I.D.
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