Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Jesus fed 5000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread.

That's not a miracle. That's tapas.
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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Why did the opera singer go sailing?

Because she wanted to hit the high C's.
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How did the chemist survive the famine?

By subsisting on titrations.
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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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What did the alien say to the garden?

Take me to your weeder!
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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Why did the cow go in the spaceship?

It wanted to see the mooooooon!
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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