Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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What do you call a belt made out of watches?

A waist of time!
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What did the little girl say when she had to choose between a tricycle and a candy bar?

"Trike or Treat"?
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What's the slipperiest country?

Greece!
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How many DP's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One. No, two. No... How many do we have on the truck?
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How many Real Men does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Real Men aren't afraid of the dark.
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How Many lead guitarist does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They just steal somebody else's light.
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What happens when spectroscopists are idle?

They turn from notating nuclear spins to notating unclear puns.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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I'm in great mood tonight because the other day I entered a competition and I won a years supply of Marmite

......... one jar.
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