Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What is the snake's favorite subject?

Hiss-story
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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Why do fish live in salt water?

Because pepper makes them sneeze
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What do you get when you cross poison ivy with a 4-leaf clover?

A rash of good luck.
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Earlier this year I saw The Theory of Everything – loved it.

Should've been called Look Who's Hawking, that's my only criticism.
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Clowns divorce:

custardy battle.
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Who's richer — the butcher, the baker, or the candlestick maker?

The baker, because he has lots of dough.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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