Why was the boy sitting on his watch?

Because he wanted to be on time.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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What is always hot in the refrigerator?

Chili
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Online money has recently been discovered to be a not-yet-identified super heavy element.

The proposed name is: Un-obtainium.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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What is the most important subject a witch learns in school?

Spelling.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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