Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How many "pro-lifers" does it take to change a light bulb?

Six: two to screw in the bulb and four to testify that it was lit from the moment they began screwing.
None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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If a long dress is evening wear, what is a suit of armor?

Silverware.
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What did Tennessee?

The same thing Arkansas.
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Who says sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me?

A guy who has never been hit with a dictionary.
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What starts with E, ends with E and only has one letter?

An envelope.
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What did the banana do when the monkey chased it?

The banana split
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Which runs faster, hot or cold water?

Hot, because you can catch cold.
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