Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you know when its Michael Jacksons bed time ?

When the big hand touches the little hand
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A priest, a rabbi and a vicar walk into a bar.

The barman says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog
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How many Jewish renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends. One, if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit by electricity generated from nuclear power. Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in the bulb. Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a best-selling book called The Jew in the Lightbulb. Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psycho-halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat weekend on the experience.
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