Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Why does Trump love the poorly educated?

Because they only know their ABCs "Anybody But Clinton".
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What's the difference between a jellyfish and a lawyer?

One's a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do birds say on Halloween?

Twick o tweet
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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them
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What kind of pants do ghosts wear?

Boo-Jeans.
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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