Why was the cat afraid of a tree?

Because of the bark
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How do you know an elephant has been in your refrigerator?

There are footprints in the butter.
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El Chapo has offered $100 million dollars for Trumps body, dead or alive.

I guess that finally answers the question about how much Donald Trump is actually worth.
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Why did the banana split?

It saw the ginger snap.
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How did the bubble gum cross the road?

On the bottom of the chicken's foot!
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What's a dog's favorite food for breakfast?

Pooched eggs.
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What kind of potato chips fly?

Plane ones.
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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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