Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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Why did the TV cross the road?

Because it wanted to be a flat screen.
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How many socialists does it take to change a light bulb?

One to petition the Ministry of Light for a bulb, 50 to establish the state production quota, 200 militia to force the factory unions to allow production of the bulb, and one to surreptitiously dial an "800" number to order an American light bulb.
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What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?

A Broncosaurus or a Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What is a horse's favorite sport?

Stable tennis
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Why are lawyers like nuclear weapons?

If one side has one, the other side has to get one. Once launched, they cannot be recalled. When they land, they screw up everything forever.
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Why should we call the President, Donald "Duck" Trump?

Because you better duck when he's pissed.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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