Why was the math book sad?

It had too many problems.
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Why to lawyers wear neckties?

To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.
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How many junkies does it take to change a light bulb?

Oh wow, is it, like, dark, man?
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I’ve never gone to a gun range before.

I decided to give it a shot!
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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