Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What has a head but no body?

A nail.
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Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?

He made an illegal ewe turn.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why did the tree get a computer?

To log on.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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