Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Knock, knock
Who's there?
Merry.
Merry who?

Merry Christmas!
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How many Trumpet players does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. But he'll leave a big puddle of spit on the floor underneath him.
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What do you call a pig who knows karate?

Porkchop
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What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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Why doesn't Donald Trump sweat like Marco Rubio?

Because he has such yuuuuge fans!
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What does a cat call a hummingbird?

Fast food.
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