Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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"Dyslexic man walks into a bra"
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. It turned itself in.
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When do you go on red and stop on green?

When you are eating a watermelon.
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What do you call a bankrupt Santa?

Saint Nickel-less.
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How many U.S marines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

50. One to screw in the light bulb and the remaining 49 to guard him .
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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