Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish

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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It’s Hans free.

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What is as big as an elephant but weighs nothing?

Its shadow

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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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When is a door not a door?

When it's ajar!
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?

Outlaws are wanted.
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Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!
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What does a lawyer get when you give him Viagra?

Taller
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