Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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Why did the doughnut shop close?

The owner got tired of the (w)hole business!
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That girl said she knew me from the vegitarian club,

but I'd never seen herbivore [her before]
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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Where does Friday come before Monday?

In the dictionary.
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Have you seen the new HGTV show about the Whitehouse makeover?

It's called "Trump It or Dump It".
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