Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.

It was like love meant nothing to her.
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"My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance.

We'll see about that."

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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What is black and white and red all over?

A skunk with a rash.
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How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb?

Hell, you need 250 just to lobby for the research grant.
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary?

Take the words out of his mouth
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