Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?

None; the Bible doesn't mention any light bulbs.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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Why did Venus have to get an air conditioner?

Because Mercury moved in.
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How do you make a million dollars singing jazz?

Start with two million.

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?

Not enough sand.
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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