Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Old chemists never die,

they just stop reacting.
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Why did the little bird get in trouble at school?

He got caught peeping on a test.
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What do you call a fish without an eye?

Fsh
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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