Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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Where do you put barking dogs?

In a barking lot.
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Why did the sea monster eat five ships that were carrying potatoes?

No one can eat just one potato ship.
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Why does cheese look sane?

Because everything else on the plate is crackers.
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What do you get when you cross a duck with a vampire?

Count Quackula!
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What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, one trains the mind.
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What does an octopus wear when it gets cold?

A coat of arms.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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