Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What do Santa's elves drive?

Minivans.
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What goes around a haunted house and never stops?

A fence.
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What happens when frogs park illegally?

They get toad.
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Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?

It takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
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How many Jewish American Princesses does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to call Daddy, and one to get the (pick one:) mineral water/Tab.
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What do you do when your chair breaks?

Call a chairman.
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Where do cows go on Saturday night?

To the mooooooovies.
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What do postal workers do when they're mad?

They stamp their feet.
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