Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.
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How many plastic surgeons does it take to change a light bulb?

Just one, but he'll also want to do something about your nose.
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What is a vampire's favorite fruit?

A nectarine!
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I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah;

I thought, "He's trying to pull a fast one".

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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Why do cows go to New York?

To see the moosicals
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