Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why don't aliens celebrate Chistmas?

Because they don't want to give away their presence.
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What did the alien say to the cat?

Take me to your litter.
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Why was the mole of oxygen molecules excited when he walked out of the singles bar?

He got Avogadro's number!
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What did the necktie say to the hat?

You go on ahead. I'll hang around for a while.
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?

Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be baygulls!
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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How did the butcher introduce his wife?

Meet Patty.
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