Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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So I met this gangster who pulls up the back of people's pants,

it was Wedgie Kray.

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What are pirate's favoite treat?

Chips AHOY!!
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What do you call a girl with a frog on her head?

Lilly.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What is green and pecks on trees?

Woody the Wood Pickle.
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What's the difference between a fish and a piano?

You can't tuna fish.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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