Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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When can't you see a cheese?

When it's pasteurised...
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What breakfast cereal does Frosty the Snowman eat?

Snowflakes.
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Why is Superman's costume so tight?

Because he wears a size "S".
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.
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