Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What is an astronauts favorite key on the keyboard?

The space bar!
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?

A vampire only sucks blood at night.
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What has 4 wheels, gives milk, and eats grass.

A cow on a skateboard.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer. I don't know what he laced them with

but I've been trippin' all day.
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Why did the chicken cross the playground?

To get to the other slide!
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What does a witch use to keep her hair up?

Scarespray!
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