Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why didn't the skeleton want to go to school?

His heart wasn't in it.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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How many 2nd AD's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Uh...standby, I'll check on that.
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What's worse than a worm in your apple?

Half a worm.
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What's the tallest building in the world?

The library, because it has the most stories.
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What is very funny and makes dogs itch?

The Flea Stooges!
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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What do you call a messy hippo?

A hippopota-mess
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