Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What time is it when 5 dogs chase 1 cat?

Five after one.

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Which search engine is popular amongst mice?

Ask Cheese.
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How many engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

First they have to agree on which is better; the analog bulb or a digital bulb.

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What did the boat say to the pier?

What's up, dock?
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A duck, a skunk and a deer went out for dinner at a restaurant one night.

When it came time to pay, the skunk didn't have a scent, the deer didn't have a buck so they put the meal on the duck's bill.
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What is the strongest animal?

A snail because it carries it's home.

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So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds".

I said, "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".

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Does it take longer to run from 1st base to 2nd, or from 2nd to 3rd?

From 2nd to 3rd because there's a shortstop in the middle.
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