Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse.

but enough about Kanye West.
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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How do you get a dog to stop digging in the garden?

Take away his shovel
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How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just one more, guys, I promise.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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