Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why is Donald Trump always seen with Melania?

Because all his other wives support Hillary.
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I just deleted all the German names off my phone.

It's Hans free.
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What did the calculator say to the math student?

You can count on me!
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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What do you call a 400-pound gorilla?

Sir.
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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