Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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I went to the doctors the other day and I said, 'Have you got anything for wind?'

So he gave me a kite.

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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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Why did Mozart sell his chickens?

Because they kept saying "bach bach"!
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What kind of shoes do bannanas make?

Slippers!
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Why shouldn't Donald Trump rag on illegal immigrants?

Because an undocumented worker has been living on his head for the past 2 decades!
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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Why was the mouse afraid of the water?

Catfish
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