Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom.
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So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What washes up on small beaches?

Microwaves.
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What fish only swims at night?

A starfish.
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why do ghosts make good cheerleaders?

Because they have a lot of spirit.
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Why are elephants wrinkled?

Because they don't fit on a ironing board
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What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house?

Hope it's Halloween!!
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