Why was the piano player arrested?

Because he got into treble with the cops

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How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A tree in a golden forest.
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What is only a small box but can weigh over a hundred pounds?

A scale.
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What do Santa's elves learn in school?

The Elfabet.
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Someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me

Luckily my injuries were only super fish oil
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What do you call a public servant who doesn't take crap from Republicans or Democrats?

Donald Trump.
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What is the difference between a car and a bull?

A car only has one horn.
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what do you call a tick on the moon?

A luna-tick
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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