Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Who did Frankenstein take to the dance?

His "ghoul" friend!
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Why do cows wear bells?

Because their horns don't work.

There were two cows in a field. The first cow said "moo" and the second cow said "baaaa." The first cow asked the second cow, "why did you say baaaa?" The second cow said, "I'm learning a foreign language."
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I thought about going on an all-almond diet.

But that's just nuts
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Why did the dinosaur cross the road?

The chicken wasn't around yet.
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Why was the baseball game so hot?

Because all the fans left!
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What did polly the parrot want for the 4th of July?

A fire cracker
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How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. They have machines to do that now.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of ties can't you wear?

Railroad ties.
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