Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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What did the clock do after it ate?

It went back four seconds!
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What does a cat say when somebody steps on
its tail?

Me-ow
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How many guitar players does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. One to change the bulb and eleven to say they could do it faster.

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What do you call 25 skydiving lawyers?

Skeet.
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What concert costs 45 cents?

50 cent featuring Nickelback

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Why does Donald Trump prefer E.T. to illegal immigrants?

Because E.T. eventually went home!
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What do you get when you cross a witch with sand?

A sandwich!
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