Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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What do you do with a dead chemist?

Barium
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Kleptomaniacs just don't get puns

they always take things literally.
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What's the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?

A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four

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What do you call a boomerang that won't come back?

A stick.
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How does a dog stop a video?

He presses the paws button.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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Why does the Donald sleep with a potato in his briefs?

Because he want to wake up some day as America's First Dictator.
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What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?

A Flat Major

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How many brewers does it take to change a light bulb?

About one third less than for a regular bulb.
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