Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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How do you stop an elephant from charging?

Take away his credit card
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What is King Arthur's favorite fish?

A swordfish
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How many data base people does it take to change a light bulb?

Three:

One to write the light bulb removal program,
one to write the light bulb insertion program, and

one to act as a light bulb administrator to make sure nobody else tries to change the light bulb at the same time.
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What is a cat's favorite movie?

The sound of Mew-sic
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Who earns a living by driving his customers away?

A taxi driver.
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How did Noah see the animals in the Ark at night?

With flood lighting.
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What nails do carpenters hate to hit?

Fingernails.
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What did the judge say to the dentist?

Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?
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