Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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What music does cheese listen to?

R & Brie.
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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How does a mouse feel after it takes a shower?

Squeaky clean
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What do you call a clown who's in jail?

A silicon.
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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?

Just in case he got a hole in one!
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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What happens when you play "the blues" backwards?

Your wife comes back to you, your dog returns to life and you get out of prison.

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