Why was the vacationing doctor so mad?

He had no patients.
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Where does a polarbear keep its money?

In a snow bank!
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Two aerials meet on a roof - fall in love - get married.

The ceremony was rubbish - but the reception was brilliant.

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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day

but I couldn't find any.

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What do vampires take when they are sick?

Coffin drops!
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What do you call a dinosaur that wears a cowboy hat and boots?

Tyrannosaurus Tex.
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What’s the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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When Susan's boyfriend proposed marriage to her she said: "I love the simple things in life,

but I don't want one of them for my husband".

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How many Carl Sagans does it take to change a light bulb?

Billllyuns and billllyuns. Light bulbs are part of the interstellar "goo" that pervades our universe; they are star stuff.
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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