Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

Frostbite.
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Why did God invent lawyers?

So that real estate agents would have someone to look down on.
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Where does a ten ton elephant sit?

Anywhere it wants to
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What do you call a cat sitting on the beach on Christmas Eve?

Sandy Claws.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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Four fonts walk into a bar

the barman says "Oi - get out! We don't want your type in here"

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How is Donald Trump going to create middle class jobs?

By paying them to cheer for him during campaign events.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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