Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What is on the ground and also a hundred feet in the air?

A centipede on its back!
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What kind of music do planets sing?

Neptunes!
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How many tenors does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change the bulb and three to whine "It's too high"
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How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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They're always telling me to live my dreams.

But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for.
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What did the ceiling say to the chandelier?

You're the only bright spot in my life.
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How do crows stick together in a flock?

Velcrow.
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Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon?

Because there was no atmosphere.
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