Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

``Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''
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If the Silver Surfer and Iron Man team up, they'd be alloys.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What is a cheetahs favorite food?

Fast food

A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, "Where were you during the first half?" He replied "Putting on my shoes".
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Why are ghosts so bad at lying?

Because you can see right through them!
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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What is a cat's favorite breakfast?

Mice krispies
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What does GOP stand for?

Grabs Our Pussy.
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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth?

Stuck
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