Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?

She couldn't control her pupils.
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What do frogs order when they go to a restaurant?

French Flies.
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A sandwich walks into a bar.

The barman says "Sorry we don't serve food in here"

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I tried nutella on some salmon

got salmonella.
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Why does a giraffe have such a long neck?

Because his feet stink
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Why don't bears wear shoes?

What's the use, they'd still have bear feet
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What's the difference between a snow man and a snow woman?

Snow balls!
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What's gray, eats fish, and lives in Washington, D.C.?

The Presidential Seal.
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