Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?"

I said, "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".

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I know loads of jokes about cash machines,

I just can't think of one atm.
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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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If minorities have the race card and women have the gender card, what do rednecks have?

The Trump Card
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What kind of dog always runs a fever?

A hot dog

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What's black and white and red all over?

A blushing zebra.

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What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?

One molar solution.
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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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What is Claustrophobia?

The fear of Santa Claus.
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