Why would an elephant paint its toenails different colors?

To hide in a bag of M&M's.
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I went to the Doctors the other day, and he said, 'Go to Bournemouth, it's great for flu'.

So I went - and I got it.
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Who makes dinosaur clothes?

A dino-sewer.
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Why did the surfer think the sea was his friend?

Because it gave him a big wave!
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Where does the snowman hide his money?

In the snow bank.
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What's round and bad-tempered?

A vicious circle.
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What did the ghost say to the other ghost?

Do you believe in humans?
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"I said to the Gym instructor "Can you teach me to do the splits?" He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays"

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