Why would Snow White make a great judge?

She was the fairest in the land.
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What do you call snake with no clothes on?

Snaked.
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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"

The man says: "You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you."
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What's the only difference between Donald Trump and Bozo the Clown?

Bozo The Clown has real hair on his head.
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How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb?

None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.
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What do you call a parrot that flew away?

A polygon
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What do you give a pig with a rash?

Oinkment.
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What's a frog's favorite drink?

Croak-a-cola.
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Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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