You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What do envelopes say when you lick them?

Nothing, it shuts them up!
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Where do cars go for a swim?

At the carpool!
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How many folk singers does it take to change a light bulb?

Two — one to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.
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What did one volcano say to the other?

I lava you.
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What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe
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How many believable, competent, ``just-right-for-the-job'' presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb?

It's going to be a dark 4 years, isn't it?
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What did the one penny say to the other penny?

We make perfect cents.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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