You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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How many shaggy dogs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Fewer than it takes to screw in a heavy bulb.
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How many Union Lighting Technicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It's not a bulb, it's a globe.
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What does a calf become after it's 1 year old?

2 years old.

Cow: "Mooooove over"
Sheep: "Naaaaaaa."
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Why did the Christmas tree go to the barber?

It needed to be trimmed.
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Why does a dog wag its tail?

Because there's no one else to wag it for him.
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Why did the girl throw the butter out the window?

She wanted to see a butterfly.
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What is Donald Trump telling all his supporters?


Orange Is The New Black.
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Why are the floors of basketball courts always so damp?

The players dribble a lot.
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Why did Mickey Mouse get whacked in the head?

coz Donald ducked
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