You see my next-door neighbour worships exhaust pipes,

he's a catholic converter.


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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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What has ears like a cat and a tail like a cat, but is not a cat?

A kitten.
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What has 6 eyes but can't see?

3 blind mice.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line?

She was caught taking a brake.
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What kind of dogs do chemists have?

Laboratory Retrievers
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What did the class clown take a computer to school?

Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.
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When did the fly fly?

When the spider spied her!
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