How can a pregnant woman tell that she's carrying a future lawyer?

She has an uncontrollable craving for bologna.
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How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car?

Put him in the front seat.
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What do you call a dinosaur in a car accident?

A tyrannosauraus wreck
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What game do elephants play when riding in the back of a car?

Squash
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Why couldn't the pirates play cards?

They were sitting on the deck!
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Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Fo Drizzle!

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What is a parents favorite Christmas carol?

Silent night!
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How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Why did the scarecrow win an award?

Because he was outstanding in his field.
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What type of cars do elves drive?

Toy-otas.
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