Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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What did the bartender say when oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walked into his bar?

OH SNaP!
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Why does hamburger yield lower energy than steak?

Because it's in the ground state.
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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If H20 is water, what is H204?

Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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