When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia?

Because it's pretty basic stuff.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Anyone know any jokes about sodium?

Na
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A proton and a neutron are walking down the street.
The proton says, "Wait, I dropped an electron help me look for it."

The neutron says "Are you sure?" The proton replies "I'm positive."
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