What did the farmer call the cow that would not give him any milk?

An udder failure.
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What do you call a cow that eats your grass?

A lawn moo-er.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

Because the chicken was on vacation.
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What do you call a mommy cow that just had a calf?

Decalfinated
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There were two cows in a paddock. One of the cows says, "moo"

and the other one says, "That's what I was going to say."
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What did one cow say to the other?

Mooooooove over
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What is a cow's favorite place?

The mooseum.
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What do you get from a cow at the North Pole?

Ice cream.
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Why did the cow cross the road?

To get to the udder side.
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What do you call a cow in a tornado?

A milkshake
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