So the Pillsbury Doughboy's pants fell off and I..

feel really weird about donuts right now.
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What do you call a cow that's just given birth?

[De-Calf-Inated]
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Whats the difference between a cat and a compound sentence?

One has claws at the end of its paws and one has a pause at the end of its clause
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Why was the sand wet?

Because the sea weed
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Why are the middle ages sometimes called the Dark Ages?

Because they had so many knights.
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PMS jokes are not funny...

[Period]
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Ah, I had a great boomerang joke...

It'll come back to me.
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The oddly pleasant feeling of looking down on a physist as they drink the last of their beer.

The strange charm of a top down bottoms up.
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Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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