Why did they kick cinderella off the baseball team?

She kept running away from the ball.
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The stormtrooper was enjoying the Wookie steak,

but it was a little Chewie.
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I stayed up all night because I wanted to see where the sun went,

and then it dawned on me.
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How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.
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What happened when the butcher backed up into his meat grinder?

he got a little behind in his work.

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So I was on a train with Einstein and he turns to me and asks...

Does Boston stop at this train?
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A Bhuddist monk goes to a hotdog stand

and says make me one with everything.
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What do you call a snarky criminal going down the stairs?

[A Condesending con descending]
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Interesting story, the guy who helped me learn algebra never farted around anyone.

I mean he did say he was a private tutor.
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Sherlock, what are you doing with that 200lbs shrub?

It's not a shrub, it's a lemon tree my dear Watson.
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