What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer?

Take your foot off his head.
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What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?
Your Honor.
What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50

Senator.
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What's the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a lawyer on a motorcycle?

The vacuum cleaner has the dirt bag on the inside.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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