Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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What is the definition of a "crying shame"?

There was an empty seat.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What do you throw to a drowning lawyer?

His partners.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?

You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and God?

God doesn't think he's a lawyer.
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What do you call 25 attorneys buried up to their chins in cement?

Not enough cement.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull?

Lipstick.
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