What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer?

An offer you can't understand
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What's the one thing that never works when it's fixed?

A jury.
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How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

Their lips are moving.
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What is the definition of a shame (as in "that's a shame")?

When a busload of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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What's the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?

A bad lawyer makes your case drag on for years. A good lawyer makes it last even longer.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What's brown and looks really good on a lawyer?

A Doberman.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute?

A prostitute will stop screwing you when you're dead.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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