What is the difference between a lawyer and a rooster?

When a rooster wakes up in the morning, its primal urge is to cluck defiance.
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Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?

To practice.
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Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?

From chasing parked ambulances.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

Accountants know they're boring.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of manure?

The bucket.
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What are lawyers good for?

They make used car salesmen look good.
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How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
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Why did New Jersey get all the toxic waste and California all the lawyers?

New Jersey got to pick first.
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