What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?

The lawyer gets frequent flyer miles.
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What's the difference between a mosquito and a lawyer?

One is a blood-sucking parasite, the other is an insect.
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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should?

Stick his bill up his ass.
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Where can you find a good lawyer?

In the cemetery
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How do you get a lawyer out of a tree?

Cut the rope.
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What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

I don't know. There are some things even a blonde won't do.
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Why don't lawyers go to the beach?

Cats keep trying to bury them.
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What's the difference between a lawyer and a liar?

The pronunciation.
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What's the difference between a dead skunk in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?

There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
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What's the difference between a tick and a lawyer?

The tick falls off when you are dead.
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