How many singers from Nashville does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it, one to sing about how heartbroken he is at the loss of the old one, one to sing about how madly in love he is with the new one, and one to go "Yee-Hah!" and throw his cowboy hat in the air.

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How many dull people does it take to change a light bulb?

One.


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How many Psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but the bulb has got to really WANT to change.

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How many New Yorkers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None 'o yo' fuckin' business!

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How many Agents does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Actually, agents will screw in just about anything.

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How many supporters of George W. Bush does it take to change a light bulb?

None. First, denounce the nearest Democrats as liberal pantywaists who deliberately caused the bulb to blow. Second, announce that the Bush administration has proved that the science of electricity is faulty, so no action ever needs to be taken on global light change. Third, keep the need for a new light bulb strictly secret. Fourth, use the money for new light bulbs as an excuse for another tax cut for Bush's wealthy friends. Fifth, explain that you would never "disassemble" about the need for light, you are way too busy spreading freedom and democracy in the Middle East by eliminating freedom and democracy in the United States.

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How many ergonomicists does it take to change a light bulb?

Five. Four to decide which way the bulb ought to turn, and . . .

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How many Einsteins does it take to change a light bulb?

That depends on the speed of the change and the mass of the bulb. Or vice versa, of course. It just might be easier to leave the bulb and change the room. It's all relative.

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How many bass clarinetists does it take to change a light bulb?

All of them

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How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Two, one to screw it in, and another to repent.

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