How do you make a musician's car more aerodynamic?

Take the pizza delivery sign off the roof

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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How do you fix a broken brass instrument?

With a Tuba glue.

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How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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How do you make a cello sound beautiful?

Sell it and buy a violin

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Where did the music teacher leave her keys?

In the piano!

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What do you get if Bach dies and is reincarnated as twins?

A pair of Re-Bachs.

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What message did Bach have on his answering machine?

"This phone is baroque, please call Bach later."

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