How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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What do you use to tie saplings to a piano so the saplings won't blow away?

Root position cords.

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What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse?

Kitty Perry

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What do an accordion and a lawsuit have in common?

Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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Why did the singer climb a ladder?

She wanted to reach the high notes!

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How many musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Twenty. One to hold the bulb, two to turn the ladder, and 17 to be on the guest list.
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How many folk musicians does it take to change a light bulb?

Seven. One to change it and the other six to sing about how good the old one was.
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Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman.

It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't.
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Do you know how many musicians it takes to change a light bulb?

No, but hum a few bars and I'll fake it.
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