What do you get when you drop a piano into a mine shaft?

A Flat Miner

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How do you tell you're kissing a french horn player?

He/She keeps trying to stick their fist up your butt.

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Why did Bach have so many children?

He did not have a stop on his organ.

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How many Bluegrass musicians does it take to screw in a light bulb??

What's a light bulb?
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What is the difference between a guitarist and a Savings Bond?

Eventually a Savings Bond will mature and earn money!

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What do you call a beautiful woman on a trombonist's arm?

A tattoo.

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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why did Lil Wayne go to the Doctor?

He was feeling a Lil Weezy

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What's the definition of perfect pitch?

When you toss a banjo in the garbage and it hits an accordion.

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What did Jay-z call his wife before they got married?

Feyonce

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