How do you get a trumpet to sound like a french horn?

Put your hand in the bell and play a lot of wrong notes.

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Where do orcas hear music?

Orca-stras
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Why is slippery ice like music?

If you don't C sharp - you'll B flat!

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Why do some people have an instant aversion to banjo players?

It saves time in the long run.

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What's the definition of a gentleman?

One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!

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What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians?

A drummer

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Why is the French horn the most divine instrument?

Man blows into it, but God only knows what comes out

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Middle C, E-Flat and G walk into a bar.

Sorry, says the barman, we don't serve minors.
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How many record producers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Two… one to tell the engineer to do it, the other to say "I don't know, what do you think?"

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How can you tell is a singer is at your door?

They can't find the key, and they never know when to come in.
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