A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner. "Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"

The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
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What did one ion say to the other?

I've got my ion you.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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H2O is water and H2O2 is hydrogen peroxide. What is H2O4?

Drinking.
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What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin?

Polar Bond.
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Don't trust atoms,

they make up everything.
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What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?

A ferrous wheel.
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What happened to the man who was stopped for having sodium chloride and a nine-volt in his car?

He was booked for a salt and battery.
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What kind of fish is made out of 2 sodium atoms?

2 Na
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