What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?

CSI
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Did you hear oxygen went on a date with potassium?

It went OK.
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Why do chemists like nitrates so much?

They're cheaper than day rates.
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Making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?

He just couldn't put it down.
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