What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite

He said NaBrO
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What did the Mass Spectrometer say to the Gas Chromatograph?

Breaking up is hard to do.
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Two chemists go into a restaurant.
The first one says "I think I'll have an H2O."

The second one says "I think I'll have an H2O too" -- and he died.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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Did you know that oxygen went for a second date with potassium?
How did it go?

It went OK2!
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A neutron walks into a bar. He asks the bartender, "How much for a beer?"

The bartender offers him a warm smile and says, "For you, no charge".
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What is the chemical formula for "banana"?

BaNa2
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What do you call a wheel made of iron?

A ferrous wheel.
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Why can't lawyers do NMR?

Bar magnets have poor homogeneity.
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