Did you know that you can cool yourself to -273.15 Degrees C

and still be 0k?
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Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?

To reduce his carbon footprint.
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What is "HIJKLMNO"?

H2O.
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What is the most important rule in chemistry?

Never lick the spoon!
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What emotional disorder does a gas chromatograph suffer from?

Separation anxiety.
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What is the chemical formula for "coffee"?

CoFe2
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What did one titration say to the other?

"Let's meet at the endpoint."
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Helium walks into a bar,
The bar tender says "We don't serve noble gasses in here."

Helium doesn't react.
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What element is a girl's future best friend?

Carbon.
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When one physicist asks another, "What's new?" what's the typical response?

C over lambda.
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