How many apples grow on a tree?

All of them.
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I wouldn't buy anything with velcro.

It's a total rip-off.
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What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car?

Carlos.
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How does a penguin build it's house?

Igloos it together.
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I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport.

I’m just doing it for kicks.
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I would avoid the sushi if I was you.

It’s a little fishy.
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Want to hear a joke about construction?

I'm still working on it.
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This graveyard looks overcrowded.

People must be dying to get in there.
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Did you hear about the kidnapping at school?

It's fine, he woke up.
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I'll call you later.

Don't call me later, call me Dad.
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